Proverbs 4:23 NIV Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
NLT Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Holman Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.
Listen to these students…
“Even in some parents, the value of purity is gone. My old girlfriend’s parents believed that if you were sexually compatible, you would have a good marriage. Her dad encouraged me to have sex with her because he considered me a man of honor. If I were a real man of honor, I wouldn’t have given in. I would have guarded her heart.”
“I used to hear “real men have sex…” I’ve come to realize that NO… real men protect and guard a women’s heart… and their own!”
The word “guard” means to keep safe from harm or danger, to protect, to watch over. If you have something super valuable that your protecting or guarding... you will want high walls, strong guards, precise archers, maybe some hot oil! Proverbs is saying to protect, to keep safe, to watch over, to guard our hearts.
This doesn’t mean that you block out the entire world and become a monk in a cave. You live in this world, but God calls us to not be of the world. Your guard has a filter. Your walls have a drawbridge. You knows what is true and what is false. You know who is friend or foe. You know the voice of God verses the deceptions of the enemy.
The point is not whether or not you are having sex or not having sex, dating or not dating, kissing or not kissing... the point is who have you given your heart to? What have you allowed into your heart? Who have you lowered the drawbridge for? Why do you think you need a boyfriend or girlfriend? Why do you think you need to date right now? Where is your heart going and why? Have you watched over your heart? Have you protected it? Have you nurtured it? Have you kept it safe? Guard your heart, because it's the source of everything you do.
Over the years Dolly and I have learned how to guard our hearts in two primary ways…
1. Let Jesus have your heart so He can protect it. Hands down the best way to guard my heart is a passionate pursuit of Jesus Christ. He can keep it safe. I can trust Him! I believe the same way you live a pure life (Psalm 119:9-16) is the also the way you guard your heart (see previous post).
2. The second way to guard your heart is set up boundaries. There are 8 sexual boundaries in the Bible and these have life and are doable when you are in full pursuit of God. Boundaries create freedom. Boundaries provide direction. Boundaries generate purpose. Boundaries allow you to establish your identity. These boundaries are non-negotiable. If we don’t acknowledge them and stick to them we risk forfeiting God’s perfect plan for our lives… we risk living in bondage.
- No Sex Before Marriage – I Thessalonians 4:1-5 & Hebrews 13:4
- No Dating Unbelievers – 2 Corinthians 6:14
- Homosexuality is a Sin – Romans 1:26-27
- No Sexual Touching – I Corinthians 7:1
- Treat One Another Like a Brother & Sister – I Timothy 5:1-2
- Wear Appropriate Clothing – 2 Timothy 2:9-10
- No Lustful Looks – Matthew 5:27-28
- Avoid Immoral Friends – I Corinthians 5:9-11
Listen to these students about making boundaries (from the book Friends Without Benefits).
“Draw the boundary at just a kiss. People say that making out is okay, but it only leads to the next thing. It does not matter how great of a Christian you are. When things get heated, you are less likely to stop. Even saving kissing until marriage would help.”
“Don’t put yourself in tempting situations and do not advertise yourself.”
“Never be alone for long periods of time! Stay out of dating relationships. Have a line drawn that you never go past.”
“Just know that if a guy is trying to have sex with you before you are married, he doesn’t respect you… and never will.”
“Just remember that even though you think your guy is different, he’s not. Guys will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what they want.”
“Don’t tempt yourself by kissing or doing anything more than holding hands. Sometimes even holding hands can lead you into sin.”
“Don’t get into a relationship unless you’re ready to get married. Wear modest clothing, not clothes that will draw guy’s attention to your body parts.”
“Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do around your parents or youth pastor. Set standards early in the relationship of what is not okay. Don’t sit in the car along. Do things with other people. Ask someone to keep you accountable.”
“Don’t kiss before marriage! Don’t do anything that will push your passion button. Don’t date, and stay away from porn.”
“Guard your mind and thoughts. Even thing like watching impure movies or TV can get your mind going places you would never want to go.”
“Have your standards set… know your convictions and make them line up with God’s word.”
Boundaries create freedom. Boundaries provide direction. Boundaries generate purpose. Boundaries allow you to establish your identity.
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